The first few months may have felt like an eternity but the rest of the first year flew by. Crazy that she is 1 already. She is quite a character and most definitely her own person. She took her first steps just shy of 11 months and is now running. She is BUSY! Always on the go and always exploring. More often than not she has something in at least one hand. If she is outside, it's usually a piece of mulch haha. She just loves to investigate everything. She points constantly and very insistently. She knows where a lot of things are too: stop sign, fan, mobile, books, etc. Food - Likes: Graham crackers, Avocado, Fruit, Grilled Cheese, Mac n Cheese, CHEESE! Dislikes: Beef (ground beef seems to be ok), broccoli... hmm yeah not much this baby doesn't like!! Words - Hi, Hey, Yeah, Dada, Mama, Woof (which sounds like ffff), No (which is usually no, no, no imitating Chris and me), Grrrrr (like a lion) Accomplishments- Walking, clapping, high fives (sometimes), waving, singing and motioning with certain songs (Twinkle, Twinkle and Itsy Bitsy Spider), dancing. Dear Adelaide, You are one of a kind!!! I'm sure every mom feels this way about their child but you truly are a special baby. I still get to call you baby. Maybe I always will! It's a bittersweet feeling for me when you turned 1. I am so proud of you and how smart and funny you are and all the amazing things you can do and yet it's a little sad to see how independent you are already and I can see times in the future where you won't need mommy as much. You honestly make us laugh nonstop. You are such a silly little thing. From playing peekaboo with blankets to jumping on pillows and snuggling to wrestling with daddy - you are a riot. Your little personality shines through in everything. From not wanting to hold hands when you walk to the way you say no, no, no when you know you're not supposed to do something - you are Miss Independent! I know you are going to grow up as a strong girl into a strong woman, and that just,well, that just kicks ass!! I am so excited to see what every month brings as you develop more and more. Happy 1st Birthday my Love! Love, Mama
I'm back!! And it only took a year haha. What a crazy year. That is an understatement of GREAT magnitude. Ups and downs and all arounds. My goal is to blog once a month to just give some fun Adelaide updates. To sum up the last year - amazing, scary, difficult, joyful, demanding, rewarding... Motherhood is truly the hardest job I have ever had. The beginning of the journey was not as I had expected. It was so very hard. This little creature demanded every fiber of my being and every ounce of my strength. There were many times I did not feel as though I was up to the task. This broke my heart on many occasions as being a mom is the thing I wanted most in life. Expectations are a tricky thing. They can fill you with hope and they can fill you with guilt.
Unfortunately, the majority of the first few months were filled with guilt over EVERYTHING. I struggled. I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression (PPD). I went to counseling and started medication. I have no shame in this. I keep it private because I am a private person but I am willing to discuss it with anyone who asks - especially new mothers. I feel as though I now have this obligation to be nothing but honest about being a mother. As the counseling helped my feelings & the medication helped me balance out (and be able to sleep when she slept), I started emerging as the mother I wanted to be. I always loved my Adelaide but I was so consumed with this anxiety and guilt that I couldn't relax to enjoy being in love with her. That finally began to change and I got to enjoy watching this marvelous little being develop in front of my eyes. Big changes occurred. Chris left his job to stay home full time with Adelaide. After a month in daycare, he felt as though he hardly got to see her with his schedule. I was utterly lonely working from home. Daycare was a second mortgage. The decision for Chris to leave his job was made and it is a decision that was the best for our family. Shortly after, Chris needed to have his gallbladder removed. The next few months were difficult to say the least. Chris is still recovering from a difficult surgery. He decided to go back to work part time now that she is a little older and I am so proud of how he is balancing all of this along with his recovery. He is an amazing father. Over the past year, I have developed a bond and love for Adelaide I never imagined. It is what the movies portray. It is what I had dreamed of when thinking of becoming a mother. It is true love. I look at her face and I can't believe that we brought such a miracle into this world. Every day it amazes me. Every day she makes me laugh. The happiness she brings both Chris and me is unparelleled. I have begun to feel like myself again which is a great blessing. I strive everyday to become the mom I want to be to Adelaide but I don't have the weighty expectations hanging overhead. I have learned to enjoy the day, enjoy the moment, enjoy my daughter. We learn together and we teach other. I will be back with her birth story and some photos and 12 month updates! It's good to be back :)
