15 Weeks

I. Am. Sleepy. For real. I totally jinxed myself. I had a few nights of really great sleep and yesterday I felt like a million bucks, went for a long walk, went to the grocery store, made dinner, stayed up till after 11 watching tv without feeling like I was in a coma. I thought I GOT THIS DOWN! No siree. I need to work on clearing out my brain. This is the problem. I can't get comfortable physically (on my side it's just not comfortable, my leg falls asleep or my hip hurts). My normal position pre-pregnancy was on my side but half on my belly. I said this last post and I think this still that the baby is on my lower right side (or at least mostly there) because I feel very uncomfortable when I lay like that. On the flip side, on my left, not as bad. On my back I spazz because you're not supposed to lay on your back after 20 weeks (yes, I know I'm 15 weeks but try telling my subconscious that at 4am). So that's the starter, then we move on to random things running through my brain, weird dreams, etc. AHH! I started a little journal to write any worries I may have down. Mostly they are the typical worries - work, money, planning. I don't think they stress me but they pop up (along with a random song in my head - yeah don't ask) in the middle of the night. Chris and I had a conversation about his work and him taking off shortly before bed which was my fault because I brought it up. It wasn't a particularly taxing conversation, we just discussed it in general, but since I am Planny Magee it must have stuck in my brain. I have always been a pretty good sleeper. I usually can tuck things away until I wake up in the morning. I think the physical elements along with hormones and just a big life change are quite the mix.

For the most part, I really have been sleeping better. I have a LOT more energy. I think I need to exercise more now that I have this energy. Since I work from home, even not commuting on a daily basis tends to give you more energy which is usually a good thing but I was used to being so exhausted the past few months that it didn't matter. Now that I have more of an energy level like I did pre-pregnancy I think I need to treat it as such. Pre-pregnancy when I started working from home I remember having so much time & energy I didn't know what to do with myself and it was hard to wind down. I think that's what's happening now. The worries are not actively stressing me out. I am not sitting around all day pulling my hair out. Writing them down helps because it helps me to see there are easy solutions to most. Does anyone have any suggestions for winding down before bed? I usually have a snack and/or a glass of milk but I could use some relaxation techniques I think.

In other news, I went to prenatal yoga this past Saturday and that was wonderful! My lower back had started hurting by the end of the day. Although I have probably only gained maybe 3-5 pounds total, I think my posture is changing. As I read in one of my books, you tend to start sticking your belly out more and more to look as pregnant as possible haha and I think I am tending to do this. By the end of my yoga class, my back pain was alleviated and I felt like a noodle in the best possible way! There were a couple other girls in my class who were farther along than me (seriously, is it farther or further?) and it was reassuring to see that it's something I can continue to do. As with most yoga instructors, this one was super friendly and calming and took her time to readjust our positioning as needed. This is something I definitely plan on continuing in the future.

Letter time...

Dear Baby,

Mama promises to sleep better! I make sure if I don't I take a nice nap for you (and me). Even though you're a wee one yet, I rub my belly where I think you are and make sure I send you "good vibes" on a daily basis. If I feel myself getting stressed out or worked up over something silly, I take a deep breath and remember that I have something much more important and wonderful happening. It is a great way to stay grounded and focused on what's important. I was reading a book last night and in it the woman lost her baby when she was 4 months pregnant - this probably also did not help your mama sleep any better. I felt myself tearing up - even now - at the mere thought of that. You are such a part of my life already I'm not sure what I'd do without you! You are already such a great baby and I am lucky you have hardly caused me any hardships haha. Maybe a few weeks of being sick and maybe being tired and a little sleepy now but overall it has been such a great pregnancy. I must admit I am getting VERY anxious to find out if you are a little girl or little boy. Some people already know the names we have for you but they don't know your middle name and we're excited to have a name to call you in the near future. You keep on growing up the fruit scale (you're an apple now) and do your thing!

All my Love,
Mama