16 Weeks & The Great In-Between

A photo taken of me on the way to the grocery store by Chris who was laying on the floor - a real ace photography team we are!

16 weeks, 4 months... or is it? I don't quite understand how to figure out the months when it comes to pregnancy. 16 weeks is, in normal life, 4 months roughly. According to one book it's the 3rd month (I guess after conception) and to another I'm not in my 5th month until 18 weeks. I'll just leave it at 16 weeks.

In order to not jinx myself, I'm not going to talk about anything sleep related. Instead I will talk about the in-between stage I have found myself in. It's an odd stage to be in. According to the grocery store scale (which is the only thing I have to go by in between doctor's visits and so far has been accurate), I have gained about 5 pounds this month. That's a little more than I'd like in one month but overall I have gained about 6 pounds which is okay with me. It's difficult because I feel as though I don't want to be obsessive about my weight gain yet I absolutely want to track and keep an eye on it. I have always tended to be an average weight for my height. I was actually probably my thinnest in college which amuses me since my diet consisted of beer and ramen noodles. I think my metabolism hit a wall at about 25 or 26 and although I eat mostly healthy, anything unhealthy took a greater effect on me. During my pregnancy, I have eaten nearly the same and without alcohol that means an even healthier diet. I exercise. I could exercise more. All in all, I think if I continue with how I am eating and exercising I should gain an amount I'm comfortable with. But that's not what I am referring to with the great in-between...

Most of us could probably gain 5lbs (if we wanted to) by eating junk and being lazy. 5lbs is easily an amount that could be mistaken for simple weight gain - not pregnancy. I seem to not know whether I want to stick my belly out and arch my back (as in my previous photos) or stand up straight and suck it in as I normally would. Do I want to look pregnant yet? Is that okay? Should I look pregnant yet? I'm sure a lot of women struggle with the weight gain pregnancy brings. I am happy to gain the weight that my baby needs, do not get me wrong, but this stage is awkward. In that photo I am standing perfectly to the side (not 3/4 as in some of my previous photos) and standing up straight. I'd consider this a "normal" pose (well I don't typically stand around with my hands on my hips; Chris may disagree with that haha). Those that know me might notice the rounded belly as a baby bump but casual passersby would probably just assume that's how I normally look. So who cares about those random strangers? I'd love to say that I didn't. And truly I don't really, but I'd by lying if I said I didn't care about what I look like! I absolutely, 100% look forward to having a big ole belly and people on the street smiling at me knowing baby is on board. For now, this in-between is a very odd stage.

One thing I do know... it's time for stretchy pants!

Dear Baby,
I can't believe I will probably have to wait another month probably to find out what you are! I have a new respect for people who wait until their babies are born. Your mama can't handle the suspense! I seem to get more and more distracted lately daydreaming about your nursery and paint colors and decorations. It seems hard to focus on anything else sometimes. I read that you have eyebrows and eyelashes now. I can't even deal with how cute that is. I truly hope you have your dad's eyebrows because mine are screwy haha. I wonder what long lashes would look like if you're a boy? I wonder sometimes if you will surprise us with blue or hazel colored eyes as opposed to your daddy's and my brown eyes. We have some on your mama's side. Wouldn't that be a funny surprise!? I have a feeling you will have lots of hair. Your daddy was a bit of a fuzz head from what I can tell from photos but your mama had a mop of hair from the moment she was born. I have a feeling that trait may be pretty dominant. I feel bad sometimes because I tend to refer to you as "he" a lot so if you are a little "she" I hope you won't be too offended! I am looking forward to our checkup on Monday. I don't like not knowing what's going on with you. Now that the morning sickness has faded and before I can feel you move, I need to know for sure you're doing okay! I look forward to hearing your little heart beating again. Until then...

All my Love,
Mama

15 Weeks

I. Am. Sleepy. For real. I totally jinxed myself. I had a few nights of really great sleep and yesterday I felt like a million bucks, went for a long walk, went to the grocery store, made dinner, stayed up till after 11 watching tv without feeling like I was in a coma. I thought I GOT THIS DOWN! No siree. I need to work on clearing out my brain. This is the problem. I can't get comfortable physically (on my side it's just not comfortable, my leg falls asleep or my hip hurts). My normal position pre-pregnancy was on my side but half on my belly. I said this last post and I think this still that the baby is on my lower right side (or at least mostly there) because I feel very uncomfortable when I lay like that. On the flip side, on my left, not as bad. On my back I spazz because you're not supposed to lay on your back after 20 weeks (yes, I know I'm 15 weeks but try telling my subconscious that at 4am). So that's the starter, then we move on to random things running through my brain, weird dreams, etc. AHH! I started a little journal to write any worries I may have down. Mostly they are the typical worries - work, money, planning. I don't think they stress me but they pop up (along with a random song in my head - yeah don't ask) in the middle of the night. Chris and I had a conversation about his work and him taking off shortly before bed which was my fault because I brought it up. It wasn't a particularly taxing conversation, we just discussed it in general, but since I am Planny Magee it must have stuck in my brain. I have always been a pretty good sleeper. I usually can tuck things away until I wake up in the morning. I think the physical elements along with hormones and just a big life change are quite the mix.

For the most part, I really have been sleeping better. I have a LOT more energy. I think I need to exercise more now that I have this energy. Since I work from home, even not commuting on a daily basis tends to give you more energy which is usually a good thing but I was used to being so exhausted the past few months that it didn't matter. Now that I have more of an energy level like I did pre-pregnancy I think I need to treat it as such. Pre-pregnancy when I started working from home I remember having so much time & energy I didn't know what to do with myself and it was hard to wind down. I think that's what's happening now. The worries are not actively stressing me out. I am not sitting around all day pulling my hair out. Writing them down helps because it helps me to see there are easy solutions to most. Does anyone have any suggestions for winding down before bed? I usually have a snack and/or a glass of milk but I could use some relaxation techniques I think.

In other news, I went to prenatal yoga this past Saturday and that was wonderful! My lower back had started hurting by the end of the day. Although I have probably only gained maybe 3-5 pounds total, I think my posture is changing. As I read in one of my books, you tend to start sticking your belly out more and more to look as pregnant as possible haha and I think I am tending to do this. By the end of my yoga class, my back pain was alleviated and I felt like a noodle in the best possible way! There were a couple other girls in my class who were farther along than me (seriously, is it farther or further?) and it was reassuring to see that it's something I can continue to do. As with most yoga instructors, this one was super friendly and calming and took her time to readjust our positioning as needed. This is something I definitely plan on continuing in the future.

Letter time...

Dear Baby,

Mama promises to sleep better! I make sure if I don't I take a nice nap for you (and me). Even though you're a wee one yet, I rub my belly where I think you are and make sure I send you "good vibes" on a daily basis. If I feel myself getting stressed out or worked up over something silly, I take a deep breath and remember that I have something much more important and wonderful happening. It is a great way to stay grounded and focused on what's important. I was reading a book last night and in it the woman lost her baby when she was 4 months pregnant - this probably also did not help your mama sleep any better. I felt myself tearing up - even now - at the mere thought of that. You are such a part of my life already I'm not sure what I'd do without you! You are already such a great baby and I am lucky you have hardly caused me any hardships haha. Maybe a few weeks of being sick and maybe being tired and a little sleepy now but overall it has been such a great pregnancy. I must admit I am getting VERY anxious to find out if you are a little girl or little boy. Some people already know the names we have for you but they don't know your middle name and we're excited to have a name to call you in the near future. You keep on growing up the fruit scale (you're an apple now) and do your thing!

All my Love,
Mama

14 Weeks: Second Trimester!!

Woo hoo! 1 down, 2 to go! The top photo is me standing completely normal. The next two are me sticking that belly out!

I think my body must have missed the memo that once you hit the 2nd trimester you're supposed to have more energy. You hear that, body?? Actually, I do feel the difference in energy but the crappy sleep is killing me. Luckily, I'll have a few good days mixed in with the bad days and even more luckily I'm not literally up all night. Just tossing and a turning. I'm just relieved to not have the pukies anymore and although my sense of smell is still heightened is not not nearly as intense as it was (or maybe I'm just getting used to it).

My eating is relatively the same. It's funny because I'll have waves of hunger. I figured I would be hungry all day long but it's more I'm completely fine one minute and the next if I don't get some food in me within the next few minutes somebody's head is going to roll. Dramatic? This time probably not haha. I don't feel as though I am eating all that much more. Sometimes I consciously will even if it's a bowl of cereal and a snack or peanut butter bread and a glass of milk. I try to make sure to get those extra 300 calories. Other times, like on the weekends, I just don't feel as guilty about that pizza or french fries! Mostly, the extra 300 are healthy though, but hey every once in awhile a treat never killed anybody!!! As long as I eat healthy the majority of the day I have no issue with having a treat which I've been like pretty much before I was pregnant too. Weekends are for treats! I have been trying to exercise on a more regular basis. I did a Prenatal DVD (Fit Mama) and holy crap was I sore the next day. It is not a scene I want anyone witnessing - me trying to figure out what the hell the lady on the screen is doing. This one was divided up into salsa, yoga and then stretches and such. The easy salsa, not a problem. Combo moves, problem. Chris walked down in the middle of it, to my horror, and I think he may have actually been speechless. Regardless, I was sweating and out of breath by the end of it and sore as crap the next day so clearly I got a workout! I'm looking forward to my first prenatal yoga class on Saturday. I think that's more my speed ;)

And now my letter...

Dear Baby,

I sure hope you'll like sleep as much as your mama because I think I am missing it already. I joke that this is God's way of preparing me for lack of sleep in the future. Your dad worries because he knows sleep is one of my favorite things haha. But don't worry little one the lack of sleep will well be worth it, I know! But, I think you & I will have a lot of naps in our future together!

We wonder what your personality will be like. Although your dad is much more high-energy than me, we both tend to be more laid back and relaxed. Our moms (your Grammy and Grandma) say that your Dad and I tended to be more calm children then say your Aunt Katie and Uncle Adam haha. I do have a feeling if you're a girl you may have a bit of an attitude problem like your mama which I'm sure would give your Grammy some satisfaction after putting up with me in my teenage years. It will be funny to see what your little personality will be like. Your Dad and I are definitely alike in a lot of ways but surely different in others (big example there being athleticism). I know, no matter what, you will be a unique soul and that is just so very exciting to us.

I promise to try to get some better sleep soon and I think you don't appreciate me sleeping on my right side all that much because it's starts to get very uncomfortable if I'm on that side too long. I wonder if that's where you're hanging out? I'll try to make sure I give you more wiggle room!

I'm so excited we made it through the 1st trimester together safe and sound! We did it! The pukies, crankiness, exhaustion - all worth it!

Till next week...
All my Love,
Mama

13 Weeks (Formerly Known as 12 Weeks)

Sorry 12 weeks, you got the boot. I turned (or should I say Baby Shark turned) 13 weeks yesterday. Of course my stupid digital camera died so we had to take photos with Chris's cell phone. This is me trying my very hardest to look pregnant. The only time I actually want to look bigger in photos!!! I'm trying to stick out that belly and shape it the best I can haha. I have noticed in the past few days though that it's been sticking out more and more. I think Baby Shark is still nestled down in my pelvis but it's pushing everything else out of the way! Chris gets his hair cut out at the beach so we thought what could be a more perfect backdrop for my first belly shot than the ocean?? I know babies can hear sound (although I'm not sure yet when that develops a little more) so I hope he/she could hear the ocean. Taking a nap on the beach was one of my very first memories! I remember being under the umbrella on the blanket and my mom or dad must have put me down. I was probably around 4. I would love for that to be our baby's first memory. We talked about how we can't wait to take him/her on adventures and day trips with us and explore. We hope for the baby to enjoy all those things with us.

Not much new to report on the "how I'm feeling" front. I took some unisom last night to get a good night's sleep (it's approved for pregnant ladies) and although I did wake up once or twice I fell right back asleep. As my sister said, I have plenty of time to be sleep deprived so I should try to get as much sleep as I can now!

Now a little letter to baby (I'm thinking maybe of printing all these out to go with my belly book - thanks Katie & Charlie) ...

Dear Baby,

Your dad and I were so excited to see you the other day! We couldn't believe how big you were already. You waving to us was a nice treat. I wouldn't mind seeing more of you but I know I have to be patient. It was such a relief to hear your heartbeat and get the seal of approval from the doctor. I am trying to be nice and healthy for you but I was relieved to know you're doing well in there. I feel closer to you now that I've seen you. You aren't just an "idea" now. You're a real little human. I feel less and less nervous and more and more excited and happy. I know there will be a time closer to when I will meet you for real that the nerves will return but for now I am enjoying a peaceful and happy feeling knowing that you're perfectly content to grow and grow. Your dad and I talk about all the fun things we want to do with you someday and the things we want to show you. Your dad is a fun guy! He makes me laugh a lot and I know he'll make you laugh too. I hope I can be a good mama to you. I know for sure I can love you lots! I hope I can encourage you to chase after all your dreams. I think about that a lot. I know you're going to be a very special person (and clearly I'm not biased in any way) and I hope I can do everything I can to support you in every way. Well, Baby, until next time (and before my pregnancy hormones start making me get any more weepy haha) I want you to keep on growing and I'll take care of the rest!

All my Love,
Mama

A Surprise at the Doctor's Visit

No, not twins! Although, believe me there were a few seconds there I thought that was a possibility and I almost had a heart attack. One at a time please.

We went to my second doctor's appointment yesterday (which is technically the first time with the doctor as the first is with a nurse practitioner). We were scheduled to hear the heartbeat so we were very excited. We were not expecting an ultrasound as we had elected to not do any genetic testing so we knew we would be waiting until the "big" ultrasound at 18-20 weeks to find out the sex of the baby. Well, we got a pleasant surprise!

The doctor had to do a physical exam on me (at which point Chris turned his chair around and stared at the wall haha, no need for front row seats to that). As he's doing it he goes, "oh, your uterus is larger than I expected." This is where the twins part flashes through my mind. I got um okay what does that mean?? He goes well it could just mean your bladder is full (is this TMI yet?) or your dates could be off. He proceeded to listen to the heartbeat which was nice and strong and fast (but sorry for you early predictors out there I didn't get the # so you can't predict if it's a girl or boy off that just yet; next time I'll ask) which was great enough in and of itself but then he ordered an ultrasound to see for sure what was going on. A freebie ultrasound? WOO HOO!

He hooks up the machine and WAM there's a baby!!! I mean you might say, "well, what were you expecting in there, a pony?" Well, I wasn't expecting to see such a fully formed baby, holy crap! We could make out everything - head, eyes, nose, body - and then... he/she waved! He/she stuck up its skinny little arm and gave mom, dad and the doctor a nice wave as to say "hey yeah I'm here can you leave me alone now?" That had to be the absolute coolest thing I've ever seen. I will NEVER forget that. Chris and I just stared at the screen with our mouths open. Just to see this little guy/gal moving about in my body but not be able to feel it yet is downright trippy! He/she looked very cozy and snuggled in and the doctor soon left the little guy/gal alone and did some other measurements and everything checked out 100% healthy. It turns out I am almost a full week farther along (by the way if someone can tell me for sure if it's farther or further I'm open to correction) than we originally thought. How that works when certain things can only happen at certain times of the month is beyond me! The measurements told him I was 12 weeks 5 days as of yesterday therefore I'll be 13 weeks as of tomorrow and Wednesday will be my new "turnover day." The most distinct possibility our dates our off is because I was only off the pill for a month before we started trying so that could have thrown things off. Fine by me! Our new due date is 10/12/2011. I am hoping for a 10/10 birthday!

Still too soon to tell the sex. We asked the doctor and he looked at Chris and he said "sorry, but nobody is THAT big at 12 weeks" haha. We really like our doctor. I have to see everyone in the practice because we don't know who will deliver the baby but I am hoping for him!

So that was our fun little surprise. A week older and a surprise ultrasound! What a great feeling. We were on cloud 9 after that. He told us everything looks great and I am a "normal" pregnant lady and I should feel free to tell whomever I want as the riskiest time is over. Well, that's music to a pregnant lady's ears!

I am feeling better but not sleeping great which the doctor said is normal. Sometimes it takes awhile for bodies to adjust to pregnancy & hormones so it's causing a lot of restless sleep. Other than that, I can feel my energy is better and my morning sickness is all but gone. I didn't end up gaining any weight since my last visit so if I were to guess I probably would have only gained a pound or two total (depending on what my real start weight was). Fine by me for 1st trimester. Now I'm ready to put on good baby weight! The doctor said to continue to exercise and workout and feel good so that's what I plan on doing!

Our next appointment is May 2nd. Just routine checkup as far as I can tell. We'll be able to get the orders for the ultrasound then which will probably take place toward the end of May. I'll have to put a poll up to see what everybody thinks.

Starting tomorrow, I'll be doing my belly shots and weekly updates! Stay tuned :)