12 Months

Our Bug is 1 year!!!

The first few months may have felt like an eternity but the rest of the first year flew by. Crazy that she is 1 already. She is quite a character and most definitely her own person. She took her first steps just shy of 11 months and is now running. She is BUSY! Always on the go and always exploring. More often than not she has something in at least one hand. If she is outside, it's usually a piece of mulch haha. She just loves to investigate everything. She points constantly and very insistently. She knows where a lot of things are too: stop sign, fan, mobile, books, etc.

Food -
Likes: Graham crackers, Avocado, Fruit, Grilled Cheese, Mac n Cheese, CHEESE!

Dislikes: Beef (ground beef seems to be ok), broccoli... hmm yeah not much this baby doesn't like!!

Words -
Hi, Hey, Yeah, Dada, Mama, Woof (which sounds like ffff), No (which is usually no, no, no imitating Chris and me), Grrrrr (like a lion)

Accomplishments-
Walking, clapping, high fives (sometimes), waving, singing and motioning with certain songs (Twinkle, Twinkle and Itsy Bitsy Spider), dancing. 

Dear Adelaide,
You are one of a kind!!! I'm sure every mom feels this way about their child but you truly are a special baby. I still get to call you baby. Maybe I always will! It's a bittersweet feeling for me when you turned 1. I am so proud of you and how smart and funny you are and all the amazing things you can do and yet it's a little sad to see how independent you are already and I can see times in the future where you won't need mommy as much. You honestly make us laugh nonstop. You are such a silly little thing. From playing peekaboo with blankets to jumping on pillows and snuggling to wrestling with daddy - you are a riot. Your little personality shines through in everything. From not wanting to hold hands when you walk to the way you say no, no, no when you know you're not supposed to do something - you are Miss Independent! I know you are going to grow up as a strong girl into a strong woman, and that just,well, that just kicks ass!! I am so excited to see what every month brings as you develop more and more. 

Happy 1st Birthday my Love!
Love, 
Mama

Back in Business

I'm back!!

And it only took a year haha.

What a crazy year. That is an understatement of GREAT magnitude. Ups and downs and all arounds. My goal is to blog once a month to just give some fun Adelaide updates. 

To sum up the last year - amazing, scary, difficult, joyful, demanding, rewarding... 

Motherhood is truly the hardest job I have ever had. The beginning of the journey was not as I had expected. It was so very hard. This little creature demanded every fiber of my being and every ounce of my strength. There were many times I did not feel as though I was up to the task. This broke my heart on many occasions as being a mom is the thing I wanted most in life. Expectations are a tricky thing. They can fill you with hope and they can fill you with guilt. 

Unfortunately, the majority of the first few months were filled with guilt over EVERYTHING. I struggled. I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression (PPD). I went to counseling and started medication. I have no shame in this. I keep it private because I am a private person but I am willing to discuss it with anyone who asks - especially new mothers. I feel as though I now have this obligation to be nothing but honest about being a mother.

As the counseling helped my feelings & the medication helped me balance out (and be able to sleep when she slept), I started emerging as the mother I wanted to be. I always loved my Adelaide but I was so consumed with this anxiety and guilt that I couldn't relax to enjoy being in love with her. That finally began to change and I got to enjoy watching this marvelous little being develop in front of my eyes.

Big changes occurred. Chris left his job to stay home full time with Adelaide. After a month in daycare, he felt as though he hardly got to see her with his schedule. I was utterly lonely working from home. Daycare was a second mortgage. The decision for Chris to leave his job was made and it is a decision that was the best for our family. Shortly after, Chris needed to have his gallbladder removed. The next few months were difficult to say the least. Chris is still recovering from a difficult surgery. He decided to go back to work part time now that she is a little older and I am so proud of how he is balancing all of this along with his recovery. He is an amazing father. 

Over the past year, I have developed a bond and love for Adelaide I never imagined. It is what the movies portray. It is what I had dreamed of when thinking of becoming a mother. It is true love. I look at her face and I can't believe that we brought such a miracle into this world. Every day it amazes me. Every day she makes me laugh. The happiness she brings both Chris and me is unparelleled.

I have begun to feel like myself again which is a great blessing. I strive everyday to become the mom I want to be to Adelaide but I don't have the weighty expectations hanging overhead. I have learned to enjoy the day, enjoy the moment, enjoy my daughter. We learn together and we teach other. 

I will be back with her birth story and some photos and 12 month updates! It's good to be back :)

Full Term

Just a quick post to say how excited I am that we are full term!! Although 40 weeks is technically full term pregnancy, they consider 37 weeks a full term baby. She would be able to survive outside my belly more than likely with no outside medical help. That is huge. It is such a peace of mind that we have made it to this milestone. Now, I would like her to wait until her anticipated scheduled arrival date haha but I am happy to know that if I were to go into labor before then she would be a healthy girl. It certainly feels like I have a full term baby in my belly!

35 & 36 Weeks

Looks like we have a tentative birthdate!!

Our last appointment was on Tuesday, 9/13 and we found out she was still in breech position. The doctor explained that we could either wait another week and see if she flips and if she doesn't we have the option to do the Version or if we know we didn't want to have the Version done we could schedule our c-section. We chose to schedule the c-section!

I felt better immediately that we could schedule it. I was incredibly nervous before the appointment (I even wrote my name wrong on something at some point) because all this up in the air and unknown was just killer. The doctor was fine with our decision. In fact, part of me thinks he agreed with not doing the Version. He even made a small comment that if it was his wife he would probably feel the same. Interesting.

She could still flip and if she does then we go back to square 1 and the "old fashioned" way of delivering a baby which is fine with me obviously - although knowing when she is coming is kind of fun for a planner like me and is a blessing with a retail schedule like Chris's. Speaking of Chris's work, they have been very accommodating with everything which we are very grateful for. Not a place of unemployment should be difficult but let's face it, in today's world not many companies seem very accommodating with the birth of a child which is sad. He is able to take off 5 days so that he can be with me the whole time in the hospital and a couple days at home. I am so relieved by that.

Anyway, back to the c-section. So, the doctor took out the calendar and we looked at the possible days for my surgery. Chris and I wanted to go for Friday, October 7th so that it would be as close as possible to my actual due date and my parents coming. Plus, I like the sound of the 7th as her birthday! The 7th was available. The doctor on call that day is a new doctor to the practice although not a new doctor herself as my doctor assured me. We will meet with her next Friday for my regular appointment which makes me feel a lot more confident that we can have some face time with her prior to the big day. Fingers crossed we like her. I don't need to want to be best friends with the woman; just feel confident that she is competent!

The doctor answered a few questions about the c-section. Chris can stay with me the whole time. Once she is born, she will be given to Chris to hold (I'm assuming after she is cleaned off and measured/weighed) and he can bring her over to me so I can touch her and give her kisses. Unfortunately, I can't hold her immediately because they will still need to stitch me up but as long as one of us is with her I am okay. He can go with her to the nursery where she'll get her newborn care (any necessary shots or treatments). They will stitch me up and wheel me into the recovery room where I can hold her and hopefully be able to nurse her for the first time. After the recovery room, I will go to my regular room on the labor & delivery ward where I will stay for approximately 3 nights. I say approximately because I am hoping for an early discharge. We go in on Friday (our surgery is scheduled for 1pm but we arrive at 11am) and I would love to be able to go home Sunday afternoon or evening instead of staying over to Monday. The doctor had said it is possible for women to stay only 2 nights but I think they are cautious about it. We'll see. I'd much rather have my little family at home and have just the 3 of us cuddling together!

My mother-in-law will be able to come on Friday for the actual delivery and stay with me on Wednesday when Chris goes back to work. I am so happy about that! It is great to have her be around to help. The Grandparent Unit (GU) as my sister calls them aka my mom & dad arrive that Thursday for 2 weeks and obviously I am THRILLED by that. Not only can I not wait for them to meet her, I am so happy to have them around in general with me and helping me. They make great baby nurses haha! Then, my sister comes at the end of their stay and it'll be so great having her here to pick up where they left off and transition us into our real lives (like releasing us back into the wild haha).

So as of this post, it is 3 weeks from today! I cannot believe it. Chris and I are just dumfounded. We are trying to finalize anything left on the to-do list and prepare as best as possible. I have been cooking extra of every meal and freezing it for easy dinners before and after my parents arrive (not that Chris doesn't cook because he actually does but on nights he goes into work I'm left to my own devices). This weekend we are visiting a possible pediatrician and going car shopping. We are hoping to lease a Kia Sorrento or Sportage. My little 2 door, 1999 honda civic ain't gonna cut it! That's a big item on the to-do list haha. Once we get that, we get the car seat in, hopefully figure out the damn stroller, put up the pack and play and her stuff should be ready to go!! We're trying to keep busy so we don't just burst at the seems with excitement. We're going to try to get in some relaxation in between all this and maybe a date night or two :)

Dear Adelaide,
Holy moly your mama and daddy can't wait to meet you! We are just about jumping out of our skin at this point! You are getting so big in mama's belly. The doctor estimates you will be about 7 1/2 - 8 lbs at birth which puts you around 6lbs at this point. Some babies are born around 6lbs so you really are almost full size! You seem to take up every square inch of my belly. I feel a body part sticking out of each side which never ceases to amuse me. Although your mama complains about being big and uncomfortable, she sure does love having you so close and safe with her all the time. I thought I wouldn't miss being THIS pregnant but I tell you I will miss feeling you move and react to noises and voices. It's such a special bond that we have. But, I want to share that love with your daddy. He is so eager to meet you and I want him to be able to hold you and love you the way I can with you in my belly. He is just dying for you to come out and play, little one. As we sit around or do our daily activities, we imagine you with us and it's becoming a clearer and clearer vision. We talk about what you would be doing if you were here and the places we can go and where we can't wait to take you. You have so many wonderful adventures waiting for you and SO much love! Your family will just eat you up and spoil you rotten and I wouldn't have it any other way!! 3 more weeks, Junebug.

All My Love,
Mama

33 & 34 Weeks

She is getting bigger & bigger! Although I am still getting some body shaking kicks, most of her movements now as rolls and turns and as her whole body shifts so does my belly! I wake up in the morning now to find her usually balled up on one side of my belly or another. This has been a favorite of hers to do for a little while now. If I wake up on my right side, she is usually all the way on my right and I can feel a series of hard lumps all the way down the right side of my belly. Usually, when I am waking up I feel a few flurries of activity but she is pretty quiet. I pray this means that she likes sleeping in the morning as much as I do haha. Nighttime is still her most active period which I think is probably true of most babies, fetuses and newborns alike. I can't always discern what bump is what but i'm fairly certain what I am feeling on either side of my belly button are her elbows or arms. I had though before that she was sideways but she is most certainly right side up (which is to say wrong side for labor haha).

Yep, she's still a little breech baby! We had our appointment on the 30th and she is definitely still head up. Still doing fine. Still cooking in there. Our next appointment is on September 13th and if she is still breech then we need to make some decisions. We can either have the doctor try to turn her or go ahead and schedule our c-section. We have come to the decision to go the c-section route for certain if she is still breech. There is still time yet for her to flip but as I've mentioned before I think she is quite content as she is. I am less and less nervous about the c-section (that may change as the day gets closer) and we are getting more and more prepared for that scenario. I have joked though that the more prepared we are the more likely she will flip around last minute to pull a fast one on us!

If we schedule the c-section, we will shoot for October 7th depending on what doctors are available. We're hoping this would only mean 1 day difference between Chris going back to work and my parents arriving in town for 2 weeks. Obviously, we have Chris's family close by to check in which is fantastic but of course I want my mom and dad there as soon as possible! It makes me a little sad they won't be able to visit in the hospital but I am happy that they will be able to spend the full amount of their visit with their new granddaughter. That was very important to me. It is still odd to think that I may never have a "typical" labor and delivery but I just want her here safe & sound so I am accepting that this is how she will more than likely enter the world. Good news for her, it's almost no trauma to her to come into this world via planned c-section. No tough labor or squishing through a birth canal. Just lifted gently on out of my belly. I mean am I great hostess or what?

October 7th would be a couple days after I turn 39 weeks so if that's the case that means 4 weeks from tomorrow I will be having Adelaide in my arms. I don' t think I have fully processed that yet!! We are more than ready for her (at least in our hearts and I believe in our home with the amount of stuff we have haha). We just can't wait to focus on this angel 110%!!!

Dear Adelaide,
Don't worry, Mama is going to leave you alone in there. You seemed to have made up your mind on what is best for you and I am not going to change that. I like to think that you are an independent woman already haha. I have a feeling this won't be the first time you make up your mind and won't budge. I can't say your Mama was much different. I have washed your clothes and unpacked all the odds and ends in your nursery and organized it as much as I could. Your Daddy has put everything together (except the stroller which is still baffling us haha) and we are getting every little loose end tied up as best we can before your arrival. We are trying to keep ourselves busy so the time passes by quickly until we meet you. We are simply amazed that in a matter of weeks you will be here with us and our lives will never be the same and we are so ever looking forward to that moment. It seems we've waited our whole lives just for you!

All My Love,
Mama

Weeks 30, 31 & 32

Oops, fell a litlte behind on the good ole blog! In my defense, we have been busy bees the past few weeks and I got a virus on my computer that had my internet down for almost a full week (how I survived, I'll never know). But, I'm back! And with an incredibly long post!

8 months in! Wow. Unbelievable. At the same time, I sort of can't believe we have another 8 weeks to go. Time went so fast in the beginning and it is really dragging onnnnn now. I am certainly feeliing large and in charge now haha. There are definitely no, "is she pregnant?" momemnts like the 1st trimester (looking back on that makes me laugh; I really thought I looked like I had a belly). Katie says you get body dysmoprhic disorder at this point and think everyone around you is skinny. She might be right about that! I even look at pics of myself from before I was pregnant and think wow, how could I think I looked fat in that picture? I was nothing! It's like reverse self esteem booster or something haha. All that aside, I do love my belly, but it really does make it more and more difficult to get comfortable when I sleep and in general. Lugging around this belly makes me feel exhausted by the end of the day. I try to keep pretty active but have definitely noticed a difference even when going for a walk. The weight really presses down hard and it takes more and more energy to get this body around!

I'll backtrack a bit to our last doctor's appointment which was when I was 31 weeks exactly. We had a very routine checkup. Weight was 23lbs overall which still has me on track for my goal. Blood pressure good. Her heartbeat good. Doctor went to check her position in my belly..."hmm," he says, "I'm not sure what position she's in. Do you have time for an ultrasound?" Okay, first of all hearing your doctor say "hmm" is always a little disconcerting and why would I not want an ultrasound?? He assured me everything is fine; he just needed to get a better idea of how she was lying. Of course this is the appointment Chris isn't at! Last one was in and out and this one we get an ultrasound! Anyway, the doctor does the ultrasound and it's what he thought - she's breech. Breech means (for those non-moms reading) that she is head up and legs down. Not the position she is supposed to be in for delivery. We have up until 37 weeks for her to flip herself around. Most babies will on their own. If she does not flip on her own there are two options: ECV or Version where the doctor manipulates my belly from the outside in order to attempt to turn the baby or a scheduled C-section. If we opt for the Version and it doesn't work or she flips herself back then we're back to the C-section anyway.

So, not exactly how we had planned this whole birth process to go! She still has a few weeks to do it on her own and maybe she will. I have a sneaking suspicion she won't. The funny part is, she now seems to be in a transverse position or sideways. I could be wrong, but it feels like there is a hard bump on either side of my belly button and my belly is not super firm above or below, just on either side, which makes me think she is sideways. A sideways baby. She is a character already haha. I have my next regular appointment on Friday so we will find out if she has shifted at all. We are now in the process of researching what goes into a Version and the risks versus having the C-section. As the doctor said, she may flip on her own and we won't need to worry about any of that but I want to be prepared and my feeling is she's not budging. From what I can read about the Version, it is very low risk to mom and baby. It would be performed in the hospital. They would give me a shot to relax my uterus as to prevent contractions. The doctor then would literally put his hands on my belly and try to turn her. I have read that if the first attempt doesn't work then the subsequent attempts probably won't either. They can go so far as to give you an epidural if they continue to try. The biggest risk would be to start up labor at which point I would need a C-section because she would still be in the wrong position for "natural" delivery. My main concern is not so much for myself (as I don't think it would really be painful as much as uncomfortable) as it is for her. It just seems like a very aggressive thing for little baby. I need to talk to the doctor more about it but my initial thought is if they thought that there is a good chance it could turn her (it's about 60% success for breech and 90% for transverse) than maybe we would consider it but I would want one attempt only. If she doesn't move after one attempt then she is not meant to move. And then it's on to the C-section....

C-sections make me nervous. I know plenty of women who have had them and thank God I don't think I have heard one personal horror story yet. If you know one, please do not share it with me! They make me nervous for several obvious reasons: it's a surgery (I've never had one), there are even more unknowns than with natural delivery (as far as I've been exposed to) and the recovery involved. I think I am most nervous about the recovery. The idea of being laid up and generally helpless after having this little baby concerns me. I want to take care of her. I don't want others needing to take care of me. I know even after regular labor and delivery you still need to take it slow and there is obviously recovery involved in that too but I know more what to expect from that. The hospital stay is longer (which I won't lie, even with my insurance we still need to pay per day and I wasn't looking forward to paying for 1 or 2 extra days on top of the regular 2). There are just things I wasn't interested in experiencing haha.

Now, I realize I could get a bunch of lectures/pep talks explaining to me that pregnancy and childbirth are full of the unexpected, I get that, but I highly doubt anyone I know who has had a baby went into it thinking "I'm going to get a C-section and I'm cool with it." I also realize that C-sections happen quite often and quite successfully. I get that too. I know that people recover and are totally fine after. Yup, get that too. However, I have a limited time off of work. Chris has a limited time amount of time off work. We need to "recover" as quickly as possible. I want as much time off of work spent with her in enjoyment and not restricted. Yes, the unexpected happens but that doesn't mean I don't wish for what I WANT to happen. If we need to go the C-section route, that's what we will do. And, I'm sure it will be fine and I'm sure I will enjoy my time off with her regardless. I just still need to wrap my head around the possiblity. My reaffirming factor in all of this is that she would be just fine. She will come out perfect and happy and healthy. And that means an immense amount to me and I want to do what is best for her but I would be lying if I said I wasn't thinking of me in this too! We'll wait and see. In the meantime, I just keep reading as much as I can.

Now on to weeks 31 into 32. We traveled up north to go to my cousin's wedding. Travel was tough this late in the game. I must admit I felt exhausted most of the trip. It was more physically demanding than I imagined. I had a wonderful weekend but it took a lot out of me. I am still glad we went. We got to take Charlie to the 4H fair and play with him and spend time playing. We went down to Kent Island outside of Annapolis for the wedding which was absolutely beautiful. The place was wonderful and my cousin and his new wife looked incredibly happy. It was just tough not feeling like myself. Normally, I'd love to have a couple cocktails and live it up on the dance floor and I just didn't have it in me. I actually had to walk outside for a bit after dinner because I didn't feel well. That was frustrating to me. I'm not used to feeling like that. There were a couple other pregnant ladies there who were about the same as me and they seemed to be faring much better which frustrated me even more until I reminded myself that I had just flown up a little over a day ago and then sat in a car for 3 hours just prior. I think I need to cut myself some slack. We walked around the town of Annapolis for a little while and again that was frustrating. I couldn't keep up with Katie and Chris how I normally would up and down the hills and in and out of stores and I hated that. It is hard at this point to accept that I just need to slow down. Not that I live some crazy, rockstar life haha but even regular things I like to do I need to do slower. I physically am unable of doing them how I did them before. I think, more than anything, I am growing ever more ready and anxious to just have this little girl in my arms with me on my adventures and outside of my belly!

On to my letter and a story of my dramatic exit from PA...

Dear Adelaide,
Mama gave everyone quite the scare the other day. I was coming down the stairs at your Pop-Pop and Grammy's house. Your daddy was carrying our suitcases down and I had a bunch of glasses in my hand. My feet slipped on the last couple of stairs and I felt myself falling forward. I was so scared baby girl. I knew I would do anything so you wouldn't get hurt. It felt like time slowed down to a crawl. I remembered reading something in a book that said I shouldn't be carrying anything on the stairs that I can't feel like I could throw if I fell. So, I threw those glasses - far! I turned my body around as hard as I could so that I landed on my side and not on my precious belly. The glass had shattered and I cut my hands up when I put them out to brace my fall. I was scared. I saw blood on my hands and I felt so helpless. Your daddy scooped me up as if I were as light as a feather and carried us into the other room with your Pop-Pop trailing behind with a towel for my hand. Your mama was shook up but I don't think half as much as your poor daddy. The color seemed to drain from his face and he was shaking more than me. Your daddy and Pop-Pop cleaned up my hands and you gave me a blessing. You kicked and moved and shook up my belly as I sat there getting bandaged up. The relief was instantaneous. I am proud of myself for being able to protect you. I am proud of your daddy for being able to take care of us. I don't want to test either ever again! We love you so much and we would do anything to protect you before, during and after you come into this world. I promise to slow down. I promise to listen to my body and when it tells me enough is enough. I promise to take care of myself which in turn is taking care of you. We got checked out at the hospital to be on the safe side though your daddy and I knew you were okay. I had felt you moving the whole trip back and I just had a sense that you were fine. While we were listening to your heartbeat, the nurse commented, " you have one happy baby there." And I listened to your strong heartbeat and felt you squirming and kicking the monitors like the little bug that you are and I knew she was right.

All My Love,
Mama

28 & 29 Weeks (3rd Trimester)

We did it! We made it to the 3rd trimester!!

Wooo, what a busy 2 weeks it's been! Feels like we have been around the world and back! We had our shower (more on that in a separate post) which was absolutely amazing. We flew up to PA when I was just about 28 weeks. We had a bit of a rough travel experience. We flew up at night so that Chris & I could get a full day of work in first and our flight was delayed which would have been manageable if it weren't delayed then not delayed then delayed again... you get the picture. Thankfully, at one point we were given the option to deboard the plane while they figured out what the situation was (the delay was weather related). We were able to get back into the terminal and do some stretches. It is becoming more and more uncomfortable for me to sit for long periods of time. I feel like I am compressing my belly and more importantly compressing poor Adelaide. Neither of us likes that very much. The flight attendants were very sweet to me actually and asked me a bunch of questions and even gave us extra ginger ale haha. When we walked back onto the plane a guy in his seat said jokingly, "you're not going to have that on the plane are you??" Haha I replied, "I wasn't planning on it." Wait till they get a load of me during our next trip at nearly 32 weeks!

Overall, travel seemed to be more difficult this time around. Besides it being more uncomfortable to sit, I still tend to get motion sickness (especially during landing) and if I'm in the backseat of a car. I would get car sickness here & there before I was pregnant but not very often. Having my belly bounce around or move in any flip floppy motion is not a good thing for this mama. Travel just seemed to take more of a physical toll on me this time too compared to when I traveled last at about 17/18 weeks. It really is as though my body knew the second I hit the 3rd trimester and it slammed on the brakes. Even Chris noticed. He said the whole pregnancy has seemed so smooth and now you've hit a wall. Haha, that's exactly how I feel! It felt like she was hitting a growth spurt shortly before our trip as all the sudden my appetite seemed to skyrocket. My belly seemed to take off too! It was as if it was overnight. I got more uncomfortable, hungrier and more tired. Felt like I was back to square 1 at the 1st trimester!! The heat up north didn't help either. It was hotter there than in FL! Over 100 degrees. That was tough. That did nothing but make me feel more sluggish and puffy. Besides the difficulties of traveling, we really did have a wonderful visit full of family and friends and a ton of love for Miss Addie June. Absolutely worth any side effects!

We had our regular doctor's visit last week and Chris came with to hang out. A nice quick & easy visit! I gained 23lbs overall which puts me on track for a total of 35-40 probably when I deliver. I believe 35 was my original goal (I'd have to scroll back through my posts) so within the 35-40 range suits me just fine. As I mentioned above, it feels like she hit a growth spurt and with my appetite increasing I'm trying to put good stuff in my body as much as possible (although let's be honest a few treats get thrown in along the way). Sometimes it's tough though because my belly feels so full already from having her in there that even though I'm hungry I feel like I'm runnig out of room! Anyway, back to the doctor's visit. Glucose test came back with nearly perfect score. Heartbeat was strong. Belly measured right on track. Everything was A+! Always a great doctor's visit when that happens. We went through some questions about pediatricians and birth plans and the like and Chris & I have some homework to do in the next few weeks it looks like. I will now be going back every 2 weeks until I am 36 weeks so I will have plenty of opportunities to ask questions along the way!

I really am happy & blessed to be having such a wonderful pregnancy. Although I am starting to complain more & more about being tired & uncomfortable, I know that is 110% normal for this point in my pregnancy so I keep that in mind. I am lucky to have such a healthy & strong baby and to have great overall health. I remind myself of that everyday!!

Dear Adelaide,
Oh baby, mama is getting more and more anxious to meet you!! You are giving me quite a thrill lately with your movements. They certainly can't be missed! Your turns really crack me up. I can feel your whole little body twisting around. You feel so huge to me now but I know you're still just a little peanut. Some of the movements that really make me laugh are the real slight ones that feel like you're burrowing down in my belly. I call these your "snug movements." It feels like you're trying to find a nice cozy place to take a nap. You remind me of your mama with those haha! The busy bee times are all from your daddy I think. We constantly try to guess what you're up to in there or what it might mean when you're born. I am trying to keep myself busy with preparations for you (which there feels like there are still quite a few) in order to keep myself busy and not get too antsy. I know you need to bake awhile longer. I can't imagine how restless I'll be in the last few weeks! I am already so eager just to hold you and stare at your beautiful face and rock you to sleep and touch your soft skin and kiss your toes and oh my I'm getting carried away haha. It gets harder every day to concentrate on anything but you, my love! As I type this, you are quiet, probably taking a nap. They say you have sleep cycles now and REM sleep which can mean dreams. Do you dream about us as much as we dream about you? I can't imagine what goes through your perfect little baby mind. Well, until next time, Junebug, sweet dreams!

Love,
Mama